Idle Hands
by MrsEm
Summary: Idle hands are the devil's workshop; idle lips are his mouthpiece. An evil man sows strife; gossip separates the best of friends. McCoy had to keep himself entertained somehow. One off fluff/fun/farce.


"Exceeds tolerances set by function…" Doctor Leonard H. McCoy sat on the low, highly uncomfortable settee with his legs crossed and watched bemused as James T. Kirk, Captain of the U.S.S. Enterprise and his friend of the past several years read aloud from the PADD he was holding with a vice-like grip. As he paced the floor in his ready room he continued to sporadically reiterate choice excerpts from the report. "Requires corrective action…" Kirk continued, re-reading the words in front of him for the umpteenth time. Dropping the device to his side Kirk widened his eyes in disbelief. "Can you believe this Bones!" Throwing the PADD on his desk it clanged along the glass and came to settle against his coffee mug, spilling the hot liquid over the edge of the white porcelain. Sitting down heavily he pulled himself towards the table by clinging on to the side with both hands, leaning his elbows against the glass work surface he used his hands to support his head.

"Unbelievable!" McCoy replied in faux anger, an arched eyebrow added for further dramatic affect.

"Right?!" Kirk agreed, missing the fact that his friend and the good Doctor of the U.S.S. Enterprise was quite clearly mocking him. McCoy pulled at the hem of his uniform and shifted his legs so that the left now rested on the right.

"You should go tell her exactly what you think of her." Sipping on his now lukewarm coffee McCoy held the beaker round its rim, sluicing the liquid round and round precisely, peering up nonchalantly he checked to see if the little seed he had just sown had sprouted and taken root in Kirk's brain.

"I should!" Kirk pointed enthusiastically at McCoy with his index finger as he sat upright and nodded his head, clearly agreeing with the proposed idea.

"Better still, make her come here." He couldn't stop himself from breaking into a grin when he uttered his latter suggestion although luckily that went unnoticed. He played with a piece of lint on his trousers, rubbing the fluff with his thumb and then picking it from the dark material and allowing it to fall to the floor. His eyes refocused on Kirk, his own temple taught with the perpetually sombre mood he found himself in. Perhaps this would relieve that somewhat? Kirk sat back in his chair, clapping his hands together in delight. Placing his finger over his lips; directing McCoy to be quiet, Kirk opened a communication channel from his desktop monitor.

"Captain Kirk to Commander Adams." Kirk sat up straight and ensured his tone of voice was strong and commanding, all the while McCoy watched on with a sort of languid, puerile interest.

"The Devil makes work for idle hands." McCoy whispered to himself.

"Adams here, is everything alright Captain?" The clipped, cut-glass tone of Dawn Adams filled the room.

"I'd like to see you in my ready room Commander Adams, now… please." Ending the communication Kirk folded his arms across his chest triumphantly. "Ha!" He exclaimed victoriously.

"That's great Jim, you showed her." Wincing at the taste of the cold coffee he set his beaker down on the small table beside him. "Say, what are you going to say to her when she gets here?" McCoy asked Kirk casually and Kirk's face fell instantly.

"I hadn't thought that far ahead?" Kirk was suddenly worried and McCoy raised his hand towards him and smiled.

"Just you remember who's boss."

"Yeah?" Kirk looked at him nervously.

"Yeah." McCoy agreed, "Sure, why not." He added quietly before shifting his weight and hearing the chime to Kirk's door sound. "Give her hell." He stage whispered before shouting out himself for the Senior Safety Engineer to enter.

McCoy watched Commander Dawn Adams walk in confidently, all five foot eleven of her. She'd given him a sideward look as she had walked in but immediately focused on her Captain sat in front of her. Nothing went unnoticed by Dawn Adams. From behind McCoy sat and intemperately let his own eyes travel up and down her figure, legs for days, hips begging to be held on to and neatly coiffed brunette curls ready to be set free and tussled into oblivion. He watched her come to stand still, take a deep breath and bring her hands to waist level, pressing the tips of her fingers together. Her gestures denoted her power and poise and McCoy exhaled slowly as she paused before speaking.

"You wanted to see me Captain?" Her voice was like caramel, slowly easing over each and every syllable as if she owned them, every single one. McCoy found himself grinning; the kid didn't stand a chance. Kirk meanwhile had stood and picked up the PADD that held her report, using it to anchor his hands and stop them from shaking. Walking round his desk he came to stand in front of her, only managing an inch more than her in stature.

"Can I ask why you felt it necessary to write such a damning report to send to Starfleet Commander?" McCoy felt like applauding Kirk's fine performance, feeling torn and wanting to root for the pair of them simultaneously.

"Captain, with respect I had given you every available opportunity to action the major non-conformity recommendations I had provided you prior to this report being due." McCoy could only imagine what her face looked like, all serenity and radiance on the surface and the unwavering focus of a Sniper underneath.

"I have a ship to run Commander, I don't have time…"

"You don't have time to ensure the safety of your crew Captain?" Dawn interrupted him, her voice dripping with disappointment. McCoy audibly sucked his teeth, grimacing at the roughness of her words so easily delivered. He was more than glad in that moment to simply be a spectator of what was unfolding in front of him and certainly not the one on the receiving end.

"Of course! That's not what I meant…" Kirk stumbled over his words and glanced at McCoy anxiously who in turn encouraged the good Captain to press on with a nod of his head in response.

"Captain, I think that we're violently agreeing with each other, and I believe with a little further work we can ensure that both the corrective measures necessary are put in place and the report can be updated to reflect the great progress that we have all made as a cohesive team." McCoy imagined that she was giving him her million watt smile, followed by her signature wink he hoped. "I know that you agree with me when I say that we all want the Enterprise to be at the forefront of the entire Fleet when it comes to managing safety." Kirk opened his mouth to speak but Dawn didn't give him a chance. "You have always lead from the front when it comes to challenging unsafe behaviours Captain and I can only thank you for that."

"Your welcome?" McCoy's hand came up to rest on his brow and shield his eyes, he couldn't watch anymore.

"In any case, I don't want to take up any more of your time, how does all that sound?" Kirk was looking at her dumbstruck, when he found himself nodding even he realised she'd done a number on him. "Fantastic, I'll liaise with your First Officer shall I Captain?" Holding out her perfectly manicured hand Kirk instinctively passed the PADD to her.

"Er yes, Spock. That's right." Kirk's mind was running at maximum Warp. "But I'd like you to run it by me first Commander." It was his last ditch effort to exert any kind of authority.

"Of course Captain! That goes without saying!" Dawn laughed heartedly. "Your expertise would be greatly appreciated." McCoy's jaw dropped as he watched Dawn firmly grasp Kirk's forearm, squeezing reassuringly before she walked from the office, still not acknowledging his presence.

Checkmate.

"Well Jim, you told her." McCoy exclaimed, standing and stretching out the crick in his neck.

"Yeah?" Kirk hadn't moved.

"Damned fine performance Jim, damned fine. She'll think twice before going up against you again!" Kirk's face blistered into a grin and McCoy fought against the urge to roll his eyes.

"She's… quite the woman Bones isn't she?" Kirk contemplated his exchange with the Senior Engineer, already looking back on the conversation through rose coloured glasses. McCoy patted his back and laughed.

"I wouldn't know about that Jim." He answered as he too left the room.

* * *

Later that evening and Dawn made her way to her quarters, walking over the threshold she saw that her living room light was already on and she had a guest.

"I take it that was your doing?" She asked as she pulled the boots from her feet and sat down next to McCoy, coming to rest against his side.

"I don't know what you're talking about Darlin'?" McCoy replied, feigning confusion and placing a kiss against her temple before wrapping his arm around her.

"You need to be careful Leonard." She continued. "Were you bored today?" McCoy answered her question with a hum of his lips resting against her hair.

"I see." Closing her eyes, she felt the day's stress begin to ebb away.

"I'm sorry Darlin'." She knew he wasn't.

"I don't appreciate being used as a play toy solely for your entertainment. Next time you're bored may I suggest a game of Tennis?" Her eyes remained closed as she spoke, McCoy smiled the smallest of smiles at her.

"Don't spoil my fun, there's nothing better than seeing the kid squirm when he's in front of you." Dawn turned and looked at McCoy.

"I don't scare him…" Dawn laughed indifferently.

"You scare the bejeezus out of him!" McCoy snorted heartedly and Dawn swotted at his chest, letting her hand remain there.

"Do I scare you?" She asked, edging closer to him until he could feel her breath on his cheek. His hand came to rest on her hip, his favourite part of her by far.

"To death Darlin'."

"Good." She purred.

 **The End**

* * *

 _ **Thank you for reading; hope you enjoyed the fluff! Happy New Year! X**_


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